I love waking up in the morning because I can get on the scale and see if the number has gone down since the night before.  I am a bit of a scale stalker and that is actually a positive for me because the scale keeps me in check. I have lost 33lbs since my surgery and a total of 67lbs. 

I crossed over to the teens today weighing in at 219lbs.  This past weekend I looked into the mirror and I saw a smaller person.  I could not stop looking at myself because my face is actually starting to look thinner and so is everything else. My size 18 jeans are getting to be too big and I can now fit into some 16 comfortably.  I have gotten a couple XL shirts from Old Navy. I hope I am in a 14 pant when I go on my trip to Vegas next month.

I remember last year when I thought to myself how in the hell am I going to lose 160lbs  which for me is like carrying around another fat me.  Now I know how I am going to lose it!  It feels so good to know that in the next few days I will be able to say that I have less than 100lbs to go. 
125lbs HERE I COME!!

I wanted to wait until I went to my first Doctors appt. since surgery to update and I did that on the 19th of this month. Everything went very well with my Doc; he told me that I was doing excellent . I have now lost a total of 57lbs and which 34lbs was before surgery and 23lbs after. My incisions are healing up better than expected. My doctor told me pressing and rubbing the incisions is better than putting scar medicine on them. I have already started using Mederma and they are really starting to blend into the color of my skin. 

Over the last month everything has been going really well for me. So far happiness has taken over. That is not to say that I have not had trying times but I guess that is just to be expected. As the days go on transforming into my new lifestyle has become effortless. Some of the challenging aspects have been getting all of my vitamins in on the daily basis. I have gotten better with it especially now that I can take pills instead of chewable vitamins. My walking routine had taken the back seat; I was only getting about 3-4 walking sessions in a week and I knew that was not good. When I went to my Dr. he suggested only doing 30 minutes every day because it is better than doing 45 minutes to an hour only 4 days a week. I was told if I do not walk everyday that my metabolism will slow down slower than normal now that I have the surgery and by walking every single day I will keep it up and running and lose more weight.

About a couple of weeks ago I stopped using my 1/4 cups to measure my food even though I was told do not get in the habit of eye balling portions. I just was not satisfied after eating that amount of food and found myself being satisfied after eating probably just a little more than I should have. I don’t actually want to be full but I don’t want to think about food when I can’t eat and that is exactly what I would do because I was not satisfied. I expressed my concerns about still being unsatisfied after eating to my doctor and he said that some people never have that feeling. When my monthly visitor arrived I really wanted to eat and snack and that caused me to really have to focus on the right things to do. I am a vegetarian and I felt like my choices of foods were not as dense as actual meat; I felt that contributed to me being unsatisfied and my doctor agreed. The doc said sometimes people won’t feel satisfied or even vomit if they eat too much so the pouch does not always let you know when you have had enough and not to let that be an indicator. I went and bought a few things that were higher in protein to help me with my portions. Thanks to my WLS buddy I have tried some new soy meats that I really like and my portions are back to where they are suppose to be. Dr.Baggs said whatever you do stick to the plan because I will regret it later and with that being said I am back to using my little black cups.

I was told not to eat out and I have slipped up there. I have gone to Wendy’s and gotten a baked potato with shredded cheese when I have not made it home in time to eat dinner. I also had shrimp and vegetables from a Chinese food place. I just ate the shrimp and a few mushrooms and zucchini out of it over three meals. I think my main slip up is when I went to Boston Market after being out all day and very hungry at almost 10 pm. I had some creamed spinach, zucchini casserole, and red potatoes. I came home and ate more than I should have even though I put it on a small plate. I did not regret one moment because it was sooo goood and also the first day of my monthly visitor so it was all her fault . Before surgery I would drink more than 64 oz of water a day and now I am lucky to get down three bottles of water. I fortunately do not have a problem with taking bigger sips of water so I think with some time I will be back to getting in 64oz. I am not a coffee drinker but one day I had the urge to get a decaf latte from Starbucks. I added the surger free carmel syrup and a few sprinkles of vanilla and it was really good and filling. On some of those really hot days we had here in Cali, I went to 7 eleven and enjoyed the crystal light slurpees they have now.  I have had three different flavors and they all were great.

As for clothes I am wearing a 16W and can fit 1xl and XL shirts. Fortunately I have a lot of clothes that I had when I lost weight before. I have fun pulling things out that I could not get past my thighs and now they just will not button and that means I should be able to fit them soon. The other day I went over to my parents’ house and when I walked into the room where my Mom was and continued into the kitchen. Before I could sit down she said come back in here I can’t believe how small you have gotten. Just today my neighbor told me my face has gotten smaller. I love hearing those comments.

I went into a suitcase full of smaller clothes that I could fit when I had lost weight in the past.  I pulled out a pair of size 18 jeans that to my eye looked big enough for me to fit into. When I started this journey last year I was wearing a size 24 . I was so excited when I pulled them up over my shrinking butt and buttoned them.  Oh my God they fit !!!!!! I looked into the mirror and said to myself  "You go girl". 

It's funny to me how I can look at clothes and know if I can have a chance of fitting it.  When I am bigger I try on clothes that are big looking to me no matter the size. When I am smaller bigger clothes look so big.  I do not think I will be that person still grabbing bigger clothes even though I can fit something smaller.  I can't wait to get into the little stuff. 

I went to my parents house in Vallejo to recover and boy was it HOT .  I slept the majority of the time and the next day I went home. I felt fine other than being irritated from the heat and my family being able to eat (LOL).  When I came home I really took it easy.  I went for a short walk outside and knew I was in rare form  when I was complaining about stuff outside to my son. Shortly after I came back I started to get some really bad gas pains and I tried to deal with it because I thought it would pass. I decided to stop being stubborn and take some pain meds to ease it, which it did. 

By Thursday I started to have issues with the fact that I could not eat any solid foods . I started daydreaming about food and watching shows on TV showing hotdog and hamburger places across America.  It actually helped because I don’t eat meat anyways so I did not want what I saw; but just being able to see the food got me over my cravings. My mom and sister also helped me to deal with the emotions. I may not of had such a meltdown if it were not for my cycle showing up a week early. Usually when that happens I am able to eat my favorite things and this time I couldn’t. When Sunday rolled around I was able to eat the next stage of my diet and graduate to semi-soft food like cream of wheat and pudding. It has been smooth sailing since then.

I got out on Sunday and walked the outlets in Petaluma, which was nice. I have mostly been in the house relaxing and making sure I have been getting in my liquids and vitamins as much as I can.  I walked for one mile around my area the other day and that made me feel good. The weight is coming off really fast and I am happy for that. I have made the commitment to myself to be very strict with my diet stages during this time so that I can achieve as much weight loss as possible.

I am proud to say that I lost 34 pounds before surgery and am now down a total of 48 pounds. I actually lost 10 pounds in 4 days. My family and close friend are already telling me they can really notice. This experience so far has been worth every minute!!!

Before Surgery

10/12/07 ~~ 286lbs

01/14/08 ~~ 280lbs

02/26/08 ~~ 273lbs

03/05/08 ~~ 268lbs

03/26/08 ~~ 265.5lbs

04/28/08 ~~ 258lbs

05/01/08 ~~ 257lbs

05/07/08 ~~ 255lbs

05/13/08 ~~ 252lbs

After Surgery

05/14/08 ~~ 257.5

05/16/08 ~~ 249lbs

05/20/08 ~~ 238lbs
06/19/08 ~~ 232lbs
06/21/08 ~~ 228.5lbs
06/27/08 ~~ 225lbs
07/06/08 ~~ 221lbs
07/15/08 ~~ 219lbs
07/20/08 ~~ 216lbs
 

I am so grateful to be in one of my most life changing cycles.  I have been an overweight person for many years and thank God I enjoyed my life for the past years even though I felt that the weight actually had an impact on how I felt about myself.  I know people have body image issues and that is to be expected whether I am big or small.  I just do not always want to wake to the thought of my weight and how I need to lose it.  I know I would be so much more comfortable in life if I did not have a weight complex.

As we all know I have made the choice to allow the gastric bypass to make my weight loss journey to a healthy BMI sooner than later.  I felt comfortable with the thoughts of the lifestyle change and that encourage me to pursue my goals of going through with the choice to have the surgery. I will now guide anyone reading through my surgery day experience.

On my surgery day I had a lot to do still around the house. I felt it would be better to leave most of my cleaning duties to that day so I would not have much time to wait until the time rolled around to leave for the hospital. I was so calm and ready to do the surgery. I was not nervous or anxious at all.  So I began doing the things I needed to get done and about an hour before I was going to start getting dress the phone rung and it was Kaiser.  My surgery was scheduled for 1:30pm and it was 11:45am when the nurse called to say that someone surgery was cancelled and could I come in as soon as possible. Of course I said I would so I called my parents who were taking me to the hospital and my sister to let them know that I would be going in early.

When I got to the hospital registration desk about 1pm the nurse told me that they would be calling me back soon.  So before I could sit there in the waiting room for five minutes my doctor waived for me to come over.  I went through the door and he brought me to the back and started to give me instructions to get prepared for everything.  I stopped him to ask if this was it because everything was moving so fast and I did not even say goodbye to my family.  I went back out to the waiting room to give my love.  The nurse said that they apologize for the rush and handed me over my gown, hat, and socks.  I went into the dressing area to change my clothes.  When I came out I got on the scale and the nurse weighed me and I had lost another 3lbs from when I had seen the doctor the week before. I was walked over to the area were they give me an IV and ask me questions about my health. My doctor came over and told me that he would be off the next morning and Dr. Fisher, another surgeon, would be there to check up on me. I was a little disappointed but thought to myself oh well there is nothing I can do about it. I was only sitting there for what seemed like 5 minutes before another nurse came over to say that everything is moving faster than normal.  What had just taken 15 minutes tops is typically an hour to hour in a half worth of waiting. I was actually glad that things were moving fast. I walked into the operating room and it looked a little different from what I had imagined.  My doctor was in there along with a couple others.  They told me to get on the table and asked me some questions.  My doctor also told me that Dr. Fisher would also be joining him to perform the surgery. I thought two good doctors were fine with me. All I remember was having a smile on my face and thinking to myself that I felt a little groggy and I was out.

I could hear people talking loud around me when I woke up in the recovery room.  There was a nurse sitting at my bedside with a chart talking as if she was at a party with the patients.  I wanted them all to shut up because it started to become annoying.  Not long after they took me to my room.  When I got into the room there was another women in there that I had met at the pre op class.  I must say that my first nurse was a cutie .  I can’t believe that I had to let him look at me and take the urine drain out. I took some naps and when I got the strength I got up and took my first walk probably an hour and a half after I got into the room. I got nauseated as I began to walk and asked for something to spit up in. The nurse’s assistant stood there and I said to her “I need something I feel like I am going to vomit”. She probably wanted to crack up because she said, “ oh you can’t vomit, and you do not have anything to throw up in your stomach”. When I came back I felt better than expected although my throat was really sore from the tube they put in your throat during surgery.  I asked for ice chips and that helped out a lot. As far as my recovery I did really well.  The only thing that made my hospital stay dramatic was the other patient in the room with me.  I thanked God that I did not have to go through what that woman was experiencing.  Although her gagging and vomiting grossed me out , I actually felt sorry for the lady. She apologized to me and I was just hoping they would give her something soon to help her. Finally a little after midnight they came and gave her some pain meds and she was able to sleep.  We were both up and down to the bathroom. So I did not get much rest at all and that allowed me to walk the halls and get some of that gas out.

The next morning I was able to start stage one of my liquid diet. The broth they gave me was sooo good. Dr. Fisher, who had excellent bedside manners came in and told me that the surgery was a success and I was in perfect condition at the time of the surgery. Dr. Fisher said that I would recover well along with some other information. I was told that I could leave whenever I was ready and I told my mother to come get me at 1pm. I went out of the hospital in a wheelchair and actually had to wait a while before the office opened to drop off my paperwork for state disability.  It was so hot outside; I was like man why do I have to recover at home in this heat wave because it was going to be in the 90’s for the majority of the week. So there you have it that was my journey at the hospital.

The wait is over!!! I am crossing over into a new me today.  I guess my calmness means this is the right thing for me.  I have not had any second thoughts about the surgery.  If anything I am focusing on the food I cannot have which I know I need not do.  Everything that I would want is not good for me anyways.  

I asked and the higher power answered.  I have lived with my food issues the majority of my life and I am excited for the upcoming changes.  I look forward to living a lifestyle that I deserve and want.  Most of all I will not have others judging me or comparing me to the less than just because I am overweight.  I will be the total package exuding with Love, Confidence, and a NICE BODY!!!

Best Wishes to all in this journey,

Amayzn

I would of thought I would be so anxious and excited that I would not be able to go to sleep, fortunately I am tired as hell. I guess I made up for the anxiousness last night when I could not go to sleep until 3am. My last few hours at work were pretty hectic, I did not even get to eat dinner before 6pm.  Now I cannot have anything and it is driving me crazy.  I just want to go to sleep and wake up early to do the things I need to get done before leaving for the hospital.   

My surgery is in the afternoon so that gives me enough time to make sure everything is taken care of in the morning.  I will be back tomorrow to post my last thoughts.

Good Night

Today’s visit went really well.  I went in and Dr. Baggs answered a couple of questions I had and did a pre op physical since the nurse was out ill today. I have lost 31lbs. since the referral class back in Oct. 07. I hope to lose another 130lbs after having the surgery.  I had tears in my eyes at the support group tonight when post op patients said they had lost over 100lbs and most of them said in less than 10 months.  I was like OMG that is gonna be me.

Six more days to go until the big day!!

I attended the pre-op classes on May 1st.  Kaiser just wants to drill the information in you, which is a good thing.  We just basically reiterated all the information that is in the holy binder.   I think I now have enough information and knowledge to work my tool.  I am soooo excited…I am getting closer to my date.

Much Success to Everyone!

I was so anxious about me having to weigh in last night.I tried to do as much as I could to ensure the scale did not read anything over my goal weight.The past times I would go in for appt. and support groups I would not eat anything so that the scale would show results.This time I thought to myself that my home scale said I was about four pounds under goal and I thought it would be ok to have a half cup of coffee and a small amount of some spaghetti I brought to work.To make a long story short I really did not think it would make a difference if I ate a little bit.There has been times I eat and step on the scale and it did not make much of a difference plus I was hungry because I have gotten on a schedule.  

I went to the support group and the lady who normally holds the meeting was not there and her replacement was the case manager and the nutritionist (who speaks at the 5-hour orientation).The nurse did things a lot different from Beverly.We actually broke up into groups and discussed a questionnaire that they gave us.So that was cool to hear people speak on specific topics.

At the beginning of the meeting they decided they would not start weighing folks in until after we all got started in our groups.So I had to wait about 30 minutes after the group started to weigh in.Fortunately my group went first and I decided to go run to the bathroom just to see if I could possibly get rid of more water weight.When it was my turn I was like ok please let this scale be my friend.I could not believe my eyes when I saw that it was a half-pound above my goal and I said to myself  "Oh Hell NAW".I told the case manager (who is a very straight forward type of person) what my goal weight was and she told me that a half-pound is a half-pound.  I told her that I have reached my goal weight and my clothes and the time of day had put that extra pound on me. But she was not trying to hear me so I went and sat back down in my seat. I wanted to get up and walk out of that room but instead I took control of the situation and focused on the discussion. 

After the meeting was over I decided to go back up to the case manager and ask her if I could weigh in again.I told her that I was very disappointed that the scale weighed me a half-pound heavier and could I please try again.So the nurse asked me my name and she grabbed the sheet with our names and weight and she put a dot by my name. Basically I could not weigh in again but she said that she would take a look tomorrow and someone would possibly be giving me a call.  

At least I got that far because if I would have walked out of that room knowing that I would possibly have to wait weeks before I get weighed again; then my surgery date probably would have been a couple months from now.I thought that if they did call that I would get a sooner date to be able to weigh in again and that was cool with me.  

I was so disappointed that I called my friend and he gave me reinforcement and some good advice.The next morning he even called and checked in on me to see how I was doing because he knew how important it was to me to move forward in the process.It really helped to have someone who cared and allowed me to vent on how frustrating it was to be that close.  Today I made sure my phone was charged and on my desk at all times while I was at work.When I saw my phone ring with an unavailable number (how Kaiser calls) I started to pray it was someone from there.I answered and it was, THANK YOU GOD!!!!  The girl told me that she could schedule my next appt with the case manager on April 28^th.I was so happy I did not have to go weigh in again and then wait for an appt. I was told that all I have to do now is get an EKG test done next week.So there you have it…I will be seeing the case manager and probably getting a date in May because they say it can be about a month from seeing the CS that the surgery is scheduled.  

Thanks so much to everyone who has me in their thoughts. I am so excited to say that I will be a new woman soon!!!!!!!!

Best of everything to everyone

Today I was a little disappointed because I misunderstood my surgeon when he told me what to do when I met the goal weight to get a surgery date. My doc told me to call into Kaiser to make sure someone would be available to weigh me. Well today I was finally ready to go weigh in (I finally made goal...yeah) and I called to let them know I would stop by, so I thought.Unfortunately I had to actually make an appt and the first appt would not be available until April. So it looks like I will have to weigh in at the support group next week, which is fine because at least I do not have to wait. Hopefully I will get an appointment to see the case manager soon. I hope I can post soon that I have a date…. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

My visit with the doctor was very pleasant.  My sister came along with me as support and to check this man out with me (I just don't let anybody cut on my stomach  ).  

I decided the night before to wear a skirt and a lightweight shirt  so that my clothes wouldn't add on two or three pounds to the scale.  I found an outfit that weighed less than a pound and I decided not to have anything to eat or drink until after my appt.  I wanted to get as close to my weight on my home scale because the hospital scales always weigh me about five pounds over.  I took my shoes off and put on socks this time.  When I stepped on the scale it showed that I had lost five more pounds since I was there the week before .  

Dr. Baggs came into the room and basically asked me questions that were on a questionnaire that I filled out before I went into my appt.  Dr. Baggs wanted to know how long I had been thinking about having the surgery and I told him since 2002, when my PCP told me to see the long term results before getting it done.  Now it's six years later and I am glad I waited because the lifestyle associated with this choice of rearranging my stomach takes a very responsible person to make the decision to have this done.

After recapping information that one should already be aware of the doctor opened up the floor for my sister and I to ask questions.  My main concerns were possible complications after surgery.  The answer I got was to make sure to stick to the plan as much as possible because if I don't that is where the complications can come from.  So I decided not to play around with this at all and do what they tell me  to do.  I asked him mostly questions regarding the surgery, I did have other questions but I decided to save some for the case manager because they did not have much to do with the surgery.

After the question session Dr. Baggs told me to get on the table and lie back and he poked around at my stomach area.  I was hoping I didn’t have too much to lose before being able to schedule with the case manager to get my surgery date.  

So hear it goes......I have to lose 3 pounds before I schedule with the case manager to get a date.  Can you believe it only 3 pounds.  So next week I am sure I will have gotten off the last 3 pounds which will total 21 pounds about 7 pounds away from the 10% mark.  

Before the doc left out of the room he told me that my surgery would most likely be scheduled for April, which is pretty ironic because my birthday is April 23rd.  So this will be my new birthday but without the . 
I will be back after I reach my three-pound goal. I plan to go weigh in by next Tuesday so that I can get a date in April.  Wish me success.