Time is certainly flying by. I can still remember when I woke up in the hospital after surgery. >_<

Anyways, on to the important stuff. I'm down 61 lbs. I can fit into my old jeans again and am starting to feel more attractive. I do notice, however, that my body looks more lumpy when I'm naked. Can anyone relate? I almost feel like I liked my body better before.

I weighed in this morning at 286. I'm still trying to decide what I want my "goal" weight at. I'm 5'11 so I was originally thinking about 170, but I've been thinking about giving myself a more realistic goal of 180-190. Any opinions?

I bought myself a pill organizer a few weeks ago to store my weekly supply, but it's not big enough for everything that I'm taking. I'm doing really good with all of it except for the iron. It won't fit and I always forget. :/

I've hit my 3 month mark and so far so good with the hair loss. I haven't had any yet...(knock on wood). I'm hoping that I still won't see any, but I'm not holding my breath. I will be posting a progress picture next week. For some reason I got on the odd weeks so I will posting them a month apart and next week is it.

       *Edited to add that my BMI went from 48.4 to 39.9!!  

 I have decided that I'm going to take a break from the scale. I find that I get too wrapped up in the number on it. I'm going to spend the next few weeks just focusing on exercising and protein. I'm not going to weigh myself until my 3 month surgervisery. That is in 2 weeks. 

  I have been exercising about an hour a day for 4 days a week. I would like to up that to 5 days a week when I can. I have been getting enough protein in. I'm averaging 55-75 grams a day. I've cut my carbs to about 30 a day. I  was def. letting myself eat too many crackers. I'm glad I've curbed that for now. Well, I will update in 2 weeks. Wish me luck! 

 My b-i-l had gotten into a 4 wheeler accident recently so we had been visiting him and it threw my whole thing off. I wasn't even taking my multivitamin! However, I am finally back on track...vitamins and all.

 I am down 50 pounds and will do my official weigh in tomorrow. I posted some progress shots. They are a month apart. I do have a little NSV. I was able to put back on my thin pants!!! I had a pair of 24 bootcut jeans by Venezia that I wore at my lowest adult weight right before I left for college. Well, they was no way in hell in the past 1 1/2 years that they would have fit and I tried, but I put them on yesterday and they fit! My next pair of goal pants is a size 23 bellbottom that I had bought from Alloy. I wore those pants when I was a freshmen in high school. They haven't fit me in years. 

 Other then that, I have put in my notice at work. It's ME time. I want my college experience! I'm hoping to land a job on campus. I'm also going to cut/dye my hair and I am going to pierce my lip again. I want to feel young again. I felt so old for the past year. I'm finally ready to let go and move on.

 I thought I would update this a bit. I am HORRIBLE with keeping in contact with people so please excuse me if I haven't replied to a message yet. I have the attention span of a nat. I'm doing much better than I was 2 weeks ago. I've been keeping my calories and such on the daily plate and I've been exercising 3-4 times a week. 

 I'm down 32 pounds...that's the important part right? haha. I've been getting my protein in, but I'm a little lax with my water. I take in 40-60 ounces a day. I would like to get in more. I'm eating 6-8 times a day. I'm averaging anywhere from 400-800 calories a day...depending on if I work out or not. I don't ever feel deprived and I don't eat til I feel "full". I have learned that bad things happen when I do that....case in point my throwing up in my other post.

 I still throw up on occasion. Well, I think it's what's called the "foamies", but it sure hurts. The last time I had to throw up was a few days ago when I tried to eat some plain tuna. I had eaten it before, but that was with some light mayo. I think tuna needs lube to go down, lol.

 Well, overall I'm doing much better. I'll just keep plugging away and working on myself and I'll one day be a healthier me! 

 I'm down 22 pounds, but I still feel like a huge part of me is failing. That 22 also includes the 8 days before surgery. I've only lost 10 since the surgery. I feel like I'm blowing this whole thing. I eat anything I want. I've had pizza twice already! I'm so disappointed in myself. I always thought when I got to this point I'd know exactly what to do, how and when.

 The good thing about all of this is that I DO KNOW what to do. I let my surgeon tell me "whatever you can get down for the first month" and I took that to heart. I've had more than one visit to the toilet because of that. Let's just say that I could almost qualify as bulimic at this point.

 However, today is a new day and I vow to not fuck this up. I WILL NOT fuck this up though I am off to a good start. Is there still hope for me?