i've been stuck. not in the band way. i've eaten less, but i've been eating all the wrong things. i've decided it's time to start moving again. and, i lost 2 pounds!

first goal; portion control. once the tummy doesn't get upset for a week, we can move on to the other stuff, like sugar. stopped caffeine, sugar is next. i'm afraid - i don't know how i'll do it. but i have to. it was so nice to see the scale move today.

one day at a time, i say. so here's to today.

got out of the shower after 2 hours in the pool with the boys, and wrapped the towel around me as usual. tucked into the other side, and WOW - no gap at the bottom! i can be fully surrounded by a towel! yippee!

had my first fill today - interesting experience! now i'm scared to eat - 4.2 ccs in, and i'm terrified of something getting stuck. i can only have liquids and purees for the next few days, but i'm not sure i'm going back to food. yeah right. talk to me next week as i negotiate with god for a burrito... :0)

i can't believe i'm still losing weight and the band isn't even filled yet! i dont' remember a time when i've felt food-ly satisfied for such a long time (3 weeks and counting!) well, ok, i was a bit hungry on clear liquids...but i'm having 2 protein drinks and a small meal a day, and i'm full and happy, and my shorts are baggy!

my babysitter came last night - haven't seen her in about 3 months...i was out on the lawn talking to my neighbor - she walked right past me, then whipped around and said "oh, i didn't recognize you!" and she meant it. holy crap! i just couldn't stop laughing. :0)

turns out, i'm allergic to the stitches they put in me, monocrill. so my body's been rejecting the stitches, and 2 of my 5 sites are infected. the real problem i have with that is - NO POOL for the rest of the summer. serious bummer.

when i saw dr. b, there was fishing line coming out of me - i asked just what he'd been doing in there! that's when he told me i "spit stitches". anyway, they're all out now, and i'm on the mend. i'll have supplementary stitching (NOT with monocrill) in a few weeks to close the gaping hole in my side. other than that, about 3 weeks til my first fill, and it's all numbers down after that!

people are starting to notice ("oh, i see it in your face"), but i've got one particular neighbor who keeps telling me how sexy i'm going to be. i don't want to be sexy. i want to be healthy. i don't know why she's getting on my nerves, but i want her to stop. she doesn't do well with no, so, i guess i'd better come up with some cute responses!

ttfn!

i've actually gained a pound this week! WTH? i've only had the things i'm supposed to...i did get my monthly friend, but WHAT?

9 days out, 19 down! what a rush! i know that it won't keep coming off this fast, but my dress was loose. holy crap! i haven't had loose clothing in about 10 years!

anyhow, small infection in one of the lap sites - no problem - other than that, 1st post-surgical visit says i'm normal. go figure. i haven't been normal in about 40 years! :0)

i'm so hungry - what does winnie the pooh sing? i'm so rumbly in my tumbly... but doc said this is normal, too, because THE BAND HASN'T BEEN FILLED YET. well why the hell didn't they tell me that sooner? i thought for sure that i was a surgical failure b/c the 3 T of broth wasn't cutting it...i'm not a failure - i'm normal. my doctor said so. he's the best! :0) ttfn! blessings, chris :0)

i'm home! was in the hospital 2 nights, some teeny tiny complications from a bad gall bladder surgery 5 years ago, but now, doc says i'm better than ever... turns out there was some really bad stuff inside me from 5 years ago that, if i had not had the lap-band, would not have been found or fixed, and, in 10 years or so would have affected my health. go figure! i really DID need wls! lol

let me be the first to testify that as soon as you can walk, do it, and don't stop. and don't be embarrassed to let the gas go! once i was past that, the pain of bloat was gone within 8 hours. now i'm on meds for the surgical pain, but was able to sleep in my own bed last night with my husband (who tosses and turns and snores alot!)

tonight the kids come home - i'm a little nervous because i know they'll want to pounce, but i have missed them terribly! thank you all for your support and prayers - updates to be coming regularly! blessings, chris :0)

mood swings have begun! i'm laughing, crying, and screaming all in rapid succession...kids are wondering why, husband runs away :0)

i know this is normal. i know i will be ok. i just can't seem to stop crying...

i had a really bad surgical experience 5 years ago (gall bladder surgery gone wild - watch for the video!). i was in the hospital for 3 weeks, darn near died. but, i lived! still, the trauma is there, and, since that was my only hospitalization, i don't really have a good track record...

i know that my fears are irrational, i know that my current surgeon specializes in surgery on large people, i know that i will be ok.

but i'm still freakin' out...

tomorrow the lovely bowel prep, then monday at the hospital at 7:30 am. i just need to turn it over to God...He ALWAYS provides, and i am safe in the palm of His hand.

ok. a little less freakin. for now!

oh man - it couldn't come fast enough - now i can't stop the freight train!

i'm starting to fear/miss/grieve my relationship with food - when i see commercials on tv, i know i won't be able to eat them anymore. i don't care, from a craving standpoint - just a bit miffed that i let it get this far so that my power of choice is being taken away (by myself, of course). but, this is what i need to do to save my life...and what the hell is food, anyway? my kids, my friends, my life is so much more important than taco bell!

told my kids last night that i'll be going to the hospital - fielded some questions, 5 year old will help me pack tonight. i have a feeling there'll be some cars and dinosaurs in my suitcase!

ok. i'm going to live through the surgery - monday is the first day of my new life. welcome!

i "came out" to my family yesterday at the big memorial day picnic...unbelieveable response! i can't believe the amount of support. and, of course, the news went out over the net, and relatives i haven't talked to in months are sending well wishes! i'm not at all nervous about the surgery itself - i'm getting a little freaked out about the food changes afterwards. what will i eat? when? how do i balance? thank goodness i've got a crack nutritionist! but just thinking about it, i see where my previous obsession with food could very easily turn into another type of obsession, except healthier. i'm so excited! i have pre-admission testing tomorrow - boooooorrrrrringggg...then the manometry next monday. then, it's all systems go! i found a great support group, and am really looking forward to going there - great people, lots of laughs. i'm relieved to know there's laughter after surgery! ttfn!

Time to start posting! This all happened so fast - I'm scheduled for the 18th, just need to find a working Esophageal Manometry machine in NJ :0) That'll be my last obstacle - then it's all systems go to my new life! I'm looking for friends and support, but I'm not really good at the computer thing, so if you happen upon my site, please be my friend! :0)