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on July 4, 2008 11:01 am
I had my surgery almost one year ago. However, the surgery was just the finale. The process actually began with the one-week liquid diet, which I started on July 5th, 2007. That day I weighed 295lbs (down from 314) and wore a size 26W. Today, July 4th 2008, I weigh 154 lbs and wear a size 10.
What has changed? Everything and nothing.
I don't really feel smaller in my day-to-day life. There are small things, of course. I'm not as concerned about taking up too much room if I sit next to someone in a public place. Turnstiles for lines don't cause as much anxiety anymore. I'm confident the seat belt is going to fit around me when I get in someone's car. I'm not embarrassed to get on an airplane and don't feel sorry for the person sitting next to me. Perhaps It's more about what's not there - loosing some of the emotional weight of being obese.
Some of my old emotional issues are still with me. I'm still conscious of what I eat in public, but now it's because I can't eat a whole meal. Waiters seem offended when there's still half a plate left! "Yes, the food really was delicious, I just can't eat that much! Can I get a to-go box, please?" Because of this I'm very conscious about what I order. I've also given up on kid's meals - they're usually high in fat and carbs, and I can almost always find something on the menu that suits me better.
I don't think of myself as skinny; however, that's the word everyone uses now. I was flat-out amazed when I bought a size small t-shirt (with long sleeves!)... and it actually fit. Recent acquaintences have said, "I can't imagine you as anything but slender." The body image issues are still there; they've just changed a bit. Now I'm obsessed with loose skin and a bony neck. And the 'girls' were the first to go - from a 44DD to a 34B.
What is life like now?
The biggest change for me has been clothes. It was just before Christmas 2007 when I had to leave the Women's Department at the major mall stores. I still swing through the Women's section at Walmart to get to the Ladies section. The first time I wandered around feeling confused, not real sure where to go or even what size I needed! There is a difference in a 14, 16, 18 and a 14W, 16W, 18W. Now it doesn't matter - I wear 10 and M or S now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my little corner of the store... but I'm getting over that.
I usually wear control top panty hose to keep everything under the waistline in place, always wear long (or 3/4 length) sleeves, but I am trying to make an effort to not wear really baggy clothes, either. Favorite look right now - 3/4 sleeve shrugs over a tank-top with jeans. Dunno if it's flattering, but I like it.
What about being hungry?
Yes, I do get hungry! It took a few months to re-learn what hunger really feels like - I honestly didn't know. I would feel tired or fuzzy-headed, then realize I hadn't eaten in six hours. I now need to eat every three hours or so. However, I have learned if I'm wandering around feeling 'hungry' like I used to, that means I need to drink, not eat.
The other life change has been food choices. Honestly, I think I eat more than I did before the surgery! I certainly eat more often. I certainly eat more chocolate! The Ghirardelli chocolate squares with caramel or with peanut butter are my favorites. I can have one square at a time, but usually eat two over about 30 minutes. No more, though - dumping is my enemy and my best friend.
Dumping for me is a bloated, full feeling combined with being very tired, slightly disoriented, sometimes a headache, a pounding heart and (my favorite) a runny nose. Dumping is caused by having too many carbs in too short a time. It varies from person to person; for me, my limit is around 20 grams of carbohydrates per hour. If I push too far (30g or more) it earns its name. The body basically dumps the food through the digestive system as fast as possible, culminating in stomach cramps and an icky dump into the toilet. For me, it doesn't matter about net carbs or sugar alcohols - a carb is a carb, and over 20g is bad news.
Interesting thing, I've learned to listen to my nose - when it starts sniffling it's time to stop eating. There is also a strong aversion to food when I've pushed the limit too far, where even looking at more food makes me feel nauseous.
This limit means I have to make choices - one slice of raisin toast with cream cheese, or two eggs with sliced tomatoes and a slice of white toast. No hash browns, no bagels, no sweet tea, no pancakes, no syrup, no rice, no french fries, no baked potatoes, etc etc... but I can have a bite. I can have a bite of anything I want. One bite. Maybe two, but that's it.
Any regrets?
Not yet. Let's see how I feel in another year. It's not all fun, although it's certainly not been a horribly negative thing. I've never thrown up, I've not been sick or hospitalized, my c-section was more painful. For a while I was getting lightheaded when I would stand up. I mentioned it to my primary doctor. He told me, "I don't say this very often, but eat more fat and eat more salt!" Fat to stop loosing as much weight and salt to increase water retention. It's worked, by the way - I hardly get dizzy at all now that I try to pick upthe salt shaker more often.
That said, I'm now worried about loosing too much weight! I don't look sick, but I don't feel like I look healthy. Here's my ode to future plastic surgery:
o/~ Oh my rear hangs low and it wobbles to and fro,
o/~ My upper arms flap in the breeze and my thighs can touch my knees,
o/~ I've got really bony shoulders and no over-the-shoulder-boulders,
o/~ And my rear hangs low!
Hey, this was supposed to be a quick recap, not an in-depth retrospective. Oh well. This is all information I wish I'd found more about. Lots of people write about the first month or two; then it becomes a way of life and we post-ops move on. Thanks for reading, feel free to send messages with any questions, and ya'll Fellow or Future Loosers, take care! - FalynnDFW
Be the first to leave a comment.What has changed? Everything and nothing.
I don't really feel smaller in my day-to-day life. There are small things, of course. I'm not as concerned about taking up too much room if I sit next to someone in a public place. Turnstiles for lines don't cause as much anxiety anymore. I'm confident the seat belt is going to fit around me when I get in someone's car. I'm not embarrassed to get on an airplane and don't feel sorry for the person sitting next to me. Perhaps It's more about what's not there - loosing some of the emotional weight of being obese.
Some of my old emotional issues are still with me. I'm still conscious of what I eat in public, but now it's because I can't eat a whole meal. Waiters seem offended when there's still half a plate left! "Yes, the food really was delicious, I just can't eat that much! Can I get a to-go box, please?" Because of this I'm very conscious about what I order. I've also given up on kid's meals - they're usually high in fat and carbs, and I can almost always find something on the menu that suits me better.
I don't think of myself as skinny; however, that's the word everyone uses now. I was flat-out amazed when I bought a size small t-shirt (with long sleeves!)... and it actually fit. Recent acquaintences have said, "I can't imagine you as anything but slender." The body image issues are still there; they've just changed a bit. Now I'm obsessed with loose skin and a bony neck. And the 'girls' were the first to go - from a 44DD to a 34B.
What is life like now?
The biggest change for me has been clothes. It was just before Christmas 2007 when I had to leave the Women's Department at the major mall stores. I still swing through the Women's section at Walmart to get to the Ladies section. The first time I wandered around feeling confused, not real sure where to go or even what size I needed! There is a difference in a 14, 16, 18 and a 14W, 16W, 18W. Now it doesn't matter - I wear 10 and M or S now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my little corner of the store... but I'm getting over that.
I usually wear control top panty hose to keep everything under the waistline in place, always wear long (or 3/4 length) sleeves, but I am trying to make an effort to not wear really baggy clothes, either. Favorite look right now - 3/4 sleeve shrugs over a tank-top with jeans. Dunno if it's flattering, but I like it.
What about being hungry?
Yes, I do get hungry! It took a few months to re-learn what hunger really feels like - I honestly didn't know. I would feel tired or fuzzy-headed, then realize I hadn't eaten in six hours. I now need to eat every three hours or so. However, I have learned if I'm wandering around feeling 'hungry' like I used to, that means I need to drink, not eat.
The other life change has been food choices. Honestly, I think I eat more than I did before the surgery! I certainly eat more often. I certainly eat more chocolate! The Ghirardelli chocolate squares with caramel or with peanut butter are my favorites. I can have one square at a time, but usually eat two over about 30 minutes. No more, though - dumping is my enemy and my best friend.
Dumping for me is a bloated, full feeling combined with being very tired, slightly disoriented, sometimes a headache, a pounding heart and (my favorite) a runny nose. Dumping is caused by having too many carbs in too short a time. It varies from person to person; for me, my limit is around 20 grams of carbohydrates per hour. If I push too far (30g or more) it earns its name. The body basically dumps the food through the digestive system as fast as possible, culminating in stomach cramps and an icky dump into the toilet. For me, it doesn't matter about net carbs or sugar alcohols - a carb is a carb, and over 20g is bad news.
Interesting thing, I've learned to listen to my nose - when it starts sniffling it's time to stop eating. There is also a strong aversion to food when I've pushed the limit too far, where even looking at more food makes me feel nauseous.
This limit means I have to make choices - one slice of raisin toast with cream cheese, or two eggs with sliced tomatoes and a slice of white toast. No hash browns, no bagels, no sweet tea, no pancakes, no syrup, no rice, no french fries, no baked potatoes, etc etc... but I can have a bite. I can have a bite of anything I want. One bite. Maybe two, but that's it.
Any regrets?
Not yet. Let's see how I feel in another year. It's not all fun, although it's certainly not been a horribly negative thing. I've never thrown up, I've not been sick or hospitalized, my c-section was more painful. For a while I was getting lightheaded when I would stand up. I mentioned it to my primary doctor. He told me, "I don't say this very often, but eat more fat and eat more salt!" Fat to stop loosing as much weight and salt to increase water retention. It's worked, by the way - I hardly get dizzy at all now that I try to pick upthe salt shaker more often.
That said, I'm now worried about loosing too much weight! I don't look sick, but I don't feel like I look healthy. Here's my ode to future plastic surgery:
o/~ Oh my rear hangs low and it wobbles to and fro,
o/~ My upper arms flap in the breeze and my thighs can touch my knees,
o/~ I've got really bony shoulders and no over-the-shoulder-boulders,
o/~ And my rear hangs low!
Hey, this was supposed to be a quick recap, not an in-depth retrospective. Oh well. This is all information I wish I'd found more about. Lots of people write about the first month or two; then it becomes a way of life and we post-ops move on. Thanks for reading, feel free to send messages with any questions, and ya'll Fellow or Future Loosers, take care! - FalynnDFW
