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iammelissa's Blog



50 pounds gone!
on October 3, 2008 3:51 pm
I did it!  I hit 50 pounds!!!!!!!!
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3 months out today!!!
on September 25, 2008 12:44 pm
I've lost 47 pounds!  I can't even believe it!   I'm going on a cruise in 2 weeks and I'm sure that I'll be celebrating a weight loss of 50 pounds!!! I'm so excited!
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My hair is falling out
on September 22, 2008 4:03 pm

I'm approaching 3 months, I've lost about 45 pounds.  I still can't really eat much, which is ok, because that's why I'm losing, but my long longs are falling out like crazy!   I'm a bit worried I'm going to start having bald spots soon.

On a lighter side!   I fit into another smaller size jeans this weekend and started to cry!  It's an emotional experience. I've not been at my current weight since around the time I had my 13 year old son! 

We went out for my husband's birthday and a friend of mine kept saying how hot I am.   I felt great!!!!

I've accomplished a few things already!!

1.To be able to not have the red grooves in my stomach because my jeans are too tight.- Yeah but now I'm wearing smaller tight jeans!! LOL

4. To wear some clothes I have had stashed away for years because one day I might be able to fit in them again.

7. To be a good influence on my daughters and to make all my children proud.  They are proud of me!

15. Weigh less than my husband! WOOO hooo- it's not a good feeling to weigh more than your 6'2 husband!

22. Have better sex with my husband!!!!  He said, hey is that a hip bone I feel???? LOL

25. Be an inspiration to others.   I think I am!

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2 months already!
on August 26, 2008 8:42 am
I'm so excited to report that I have lost 36 pounds already.  I feel pretty again!  People are noticing and I love that too! 
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Just a little over a month out
on July 30, 2008 12:20 pm
So, I'm a little over a month out now.  I am enjoying the weight loss so far!  It's so exciting.  I'm already fitting in clothes out of my "too small" stash and that feels great.

I'm a little frustrated with not being able eat anything yet.  I can handle carnation instant breakfast.  I am eating some thin yogurt right now and even that is causing me to feel yucky and gurgly!  

I'm sure that my tummy is just taking it's time to heal and adjust and I have so much weight to lose still that I shouldn't be fussin, but I am craving a crunchy salad like crazy!!!!!
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My Story

When I think about myself I picture myself as always having been fat.   I remember my parents used to make comments to me about being big boned or being a big girl, etc.   I look at pictures of myself prior to the age of 17 and I wasn't fat!

Now that I'm all grown up, I am fat!  I feel discusted with myself almost all the time. I shy away from applying for promotions at work and just feel like everyone is looking at me as the fat girl. 

I have a wonderful husband who hates it when I put myself down, but  I think he likes me this way because then he doesn't have to worry about me leaving him if no other men are attracted to me.  That is painful for me because It's not about him, it's about me, my self esteem, my health, and so on!!!

I'm a caretaker.  I have 4 biological kids and adoptd 3 kids from foster care.  I work as a social worker in child protection and even when I think about doing something for me I feel guilty, like I should be home spending time witht the kids or husband. 

I think I'm going to spend the money and do it, for me.  But I'm freaked out!  With food being my drug of choice I am going to go through so many changes, it's frightening!

 


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