i'm in the process of re-structuring my room in order to be a bit more organized and to create a fitness space.  i found my log of measurements since surgery.  all i can say is- wow!  i know i'm losing weight, but i didn't realize how those inches were adding up.

here are my measurements in the early post-operative period:

8/11/2008

Post-op Measurements

Bust:                58”

Bra:                 48”

Waist:             53”

Hips:               60”

Thigh:             27”

Calf:                19.5”

Upper Arm:    17.25”

Here they are today, 5 months out:

1/2/2009

5 Months

Bust:                46.5”

Bra:                 39.5”

Waist:             43”

Hips:               49”

Thigh:             22”

Calf:                16”

Upper Arm:    13.25”

also, i measured myself ten days ago when i started working with a personal trainer.  i have already lost 0.5-1" in all body parts!  :)

omg, i have been away for like, ever.  i'm horrible at keeping everything together sometimes. 

overall, i am feeling good.  my mood is better, my outlook is more optimistic about the future.  i have lost nearly 80 pounds.  i'm excited about that!  i bought a bunch of clothes after thanksgiving and they are already beginning to look way too big.  (note to self: learn how to sew!) 

the downside:  i'm still dealing with thinning hair.  sometimes i think it is slowing down but then i'll get a few handfuls of hair in the shower.  it's pretty depression.  i am seeing new growth though, so i am trying to think positive.  i am also dealing with profound fatigue.  it sucks.  i've dropped down to part time at work.  i hired a personal trainer when i hit my first plateau earlier this month.  i'm waiting on some lab results to see if it is a vitamin deficiency. 

i am happy that i did this, despite the little bumps along the way.  it's the best decision i ever made.

tonight i got off of my rear and did some exercise.  since returning to work, i am ashamed to admit that i have not been getting enough exercise.  i have had a very difficult time finding balance between working brutal 12 hour shifts and living a healthy life.  i'm tired after exercising and i realize how very, very out of shape i am but it is a good start.  and not nearly as painful as i thought it would be.

i'm one of those prissy girls who doesn't like to sweat.  or be hot.  or do anything even remotely laborious.  diet is no problem for me compared with the daunting challenge of daily exercise.  i've been wanting to try bellydancing because it looks fun and exotic and... well, it doesn't look like exercise.  i bought a box full of bellydance dvd's from amazon.com in february because i thought it would be cool but i kept on making excuses.  (i'm too fat.  i'm too tired.  i'm going to wake up the neighbors.  i'm hopelessly ungraceful.  that sort of thing...)

tonight, i cleared myself some floor space and popped in veena and neena's "bellydance: fitness for beginners."  i did the 30 minute "basic moves" portion.  omg, i'm tired and achy.  i know i am hopelessly ungraceful, but there were a few moments where i could feel myself sinking into my body, seeking out the rhythm of the moves.  (i'm sure i looked like a spastic monkey on crack to anyone watching, but that's not the point.)  i didn't realize how much of it would consist of isolating small muscle groups.  this one is going to take me some time to master.

the big challenge is going to be keeping up the exercising.  i have found a new resource for women with pcos:  www.fitcysters.com.  it's a small community of women who are  trying to take control of their lives through exercise.  they've been extremely helpful and supportive. 

it's been a while since i've updated here.  my weight is going down faster than i thought it would- just over 50 pounds in less than 3 months.  i'm thrilled about that.  i'm not so thrilled about the hairloss.  i'm actually pretty stressed about it.  i'm taking supplements and using the rene furterer "reactional thinning hair" system to help get me through the worst of it.

tonight i was able to fit into a pair of xl yoga pants i bought in 2005.  woo-hoo!  it's nice to be able to fit into things again.  i can go out in public without fear of being that invisible fat blob in the room.  (now i'm just that invisible balding blob.  lol.)  god, i pray that my hair grow back soon.

this has been a very stressful week for me.  i am still fighting for my disability payments.  i've made tons of phone calls to get the paperwork necessary to return to work and gone to several appointments... i'm finally back to work tonight.  yay.  i face it with a mixture of excitement over regular paychecks again and dread about getting my water and protein in.

my hair is shedding something fierce.  my ponytail circumference has gone from 5" to 4.25".  I can't touch my hair without losing several strands.  *sigh.*  i know it is a side effect that will go away once in reach my goal weight, but it is still very depressing. 

my hormones have been wildly shifting.  i'm emotional, moody.  my skin and hair went through a very greasy phase earlier in the week but now my face feels oddly dry and tight.  i'm still broken out.  i may have to switch birth control, but i'm going to give it more time. 

good news first: i am down to 244.5 pounds!  that's almost 34 pounds from the date of my surgery.  i'm amazed.  it's a long road ahead of me though.

i am very frustrated and sad about my financial situation.  i am still waiting to hear the final word from liberty mutual about my appeal.  also, i was cleared to go back to work with some restrictions but my manager can't find a way to fit me in with those restrictions, so i am scared about facing down another month with no income. 

physically, i am beginning to feel more energetic.  i walked all the way out to mori point yesterday... it's a long trek down the beach promenade and up a steep cliff to get a stellar view of the ocean.  it nearly killed me, but i did it.  today, i feel a bit wiped out.

i'm not sure how my pcos and hormones are being affected.  i restarted my aldactone, but at a lower dose because my hair is shedding and the facial hair suppression is gone.  blah.  i'll titrate back up as needed.  hopefully, when i'm down at my goal weight i won't need to take so many pills.

i've got two other really weird problems that i'm going to have to research and ask about on the board.  one is body odor- ick!  i'm a super hygenic person and i shower *at least* once a day.  i use secret clinical strength deoderant.  but it seems like 6-8 hours through my day, i'm stinking.  yuck.  not acceptable.  some research i've done said this is the result of ketoacidosis.  so i have to stink to get thin? 

other issue- acne.  it's not that bad on my face but last night i noticed i'm getting some good-sized bumps on the sides and back of my neck.  i've never had it there before.  well, maybe on my back as a hormone-laden adolescent.  i sure hope this is transient!