I am having the hardest time yet with my surgery.  i want to eat more & more.  I feel like I am eating too much.  I can't wait till spring. I am still at a 60lb loos since oct 14th but now it feels like a diet.  I have started to graze in the evening and need to quit that.. I will be glad to get over the holidays so I can focus more on me...

Praise the Lord for all the greatness I have had through this surgery..


Merry Christmas  to everyone..

I am so excited I had this done.  My 16's are too big.  I am going to wait a little for new jeans though.  I don't wear them much in the winter.  I am a sweat suit bunny in the winter.  cozy and cuddly.  I love my decision.  God bless u..

I was at my dr the other day and he said I am doing really well.  I have lost nearly 60lbs.  I am certain it will slow down I just hope I don't bum too bad when it does.  I have been exercising a lot.  I feel so much better.  I walk faster and do everything easier.  Life is sooooooooo Great now.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone..

God Bless you all.

Thank you Lord for everything...

I had my nut apt today and told her everything.  She is not real concerned with my food intake or protein at this point.  She wants me to cut down what I am eating to just a bite and thats it to see if I stop throwing up.  Wow mentally how do I do that..  What do I take a bite of??? hehe. 
She also gave me protein in the form of a medicine.  I take 2 moduals twice a day.  They are ment for feeding tubes but she said I can just take it.  Don't have to worry about the protein shakes anymore.  She said I will be off all protein suppl in 2 months so she said it's not going to kill me if I don't get it in. 
I asked her about starving and she said that doesn't happen yet my body is too worried about healing internally so as far as thinking it's starving it has no choice but to use my nutrition to heal the surgery area.  She answered so many questions for me I guess I wasn't asking the right ones b4.  She said the main thing at this point is to learn mentally how to eat right cause I have a free time right now but in a few months it's all up to me.  I don't have a concern about eating right.  I never was a unhealthy eater at least not in the past 8 yrs.  I just didn't eat often enough..
I tried one of my protein moduals and it was horrible. I am going to have to take it like cough syrup...
She also said that it is so hard for me to hold food down because each time you throw up it gets harder for the next time till u hit the point I am at. She said stay at a bite for a few days then move to 2 bites and eat on a schedule if I don't eat that day just drink my protein.  No more shakes yipeeeeeeeeee..... I am so happy about that.  I really hate them now.. I am also glad I will be off the protein all together by Jan. 21st.. 

welp gotta run son has wrestling and while he's doing that.  I am going to the Y to work out and swim..... I have to remember not to over do it..

I got to work my horse today I have been bad I haven't ridden in a week.. And today I realized that if I bundle up in lots of warm clothes I love it.. Gotta have my hubby put snow shoes on my horseys...

Dear Lord thank you once again for everything and for guiding me and carrying me through all this... Please Lord while I'm here I know u are in charge but please let my hubby's job hang on till summer.. The money will pull us out of the hole and build our savings again.. In Jesus name I pray.. ahhhhhh yeah btw watch over my family and friends even enemies.. AMEN

I have my 1st nut apt today.  I wonder what she is going to tell me about puking all the time.  although I puked water yesterday and no food that is an improvement.  I am anxious to see what her scale says I have lost.  I can't wait to weigh 199.  my lowest in my adult life is 185 wonder if I'll b there by new years..

I have another show this weekend wonder what people will think.  I have changed so much.  May not see it as we'll be wearing winter coats.  I wonder what my final weight will be..  Guess lots of people do this. 

I feel so much better I can't even begin to say but puking has taken it's tool as my throat is sooooooooooo sore..

I am hitting the Gym tonight while my son wrestles... 

gotta get some more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's after I get a drink my throat is killing me..