I got my first fill today .  It was a big one - 4.5cc - and I have to admit I'm a little scared...  I wonder if it's too much... if I'll eat the same... what comes next... just worried! 

Otherwise, life is good... I've lost a total of 30lbs, which has stayed the same in the last few weeks due other issues out of my control. So I guess you could say I hit a brick wall ->  LOL

I think the fill will definitely help me over the hump and get refocused, which is what I need right now.  I want to make a committment to start going to the support meeting and/or some 1on1 counseling... Need to get a handle on the emotional eating... lol...

So, it's been a while... and, honestly for a while I was moving like a  turtle... I went on vacation for 10 days, then off site work meetings, my mom was sick in the hospital for few days... etc, etc... In other words, EXCUSES!  I'm honest with myself... That's exactly what they are...
But, I went to see the my doctor on 7/17/08 and I've been MUCH better since then.  I've hit the gym diligently and I'm eating the right stuff (although I think I'm eating too much).  I've lost 4 lbs since 7/17... Because I hadn't lost weight in 3 weeks my doctor wanted me to get an adjustment as soon as I hit 3 months but I wanted to wait and see if I could do it once I jumped back on the bandwagon so I didn't schedule it.
Well, I did jump back on the bandwagon but I also realized that I do need that adjustment so I'm going to schedule my appointment for mid to late September. 
I've been doing pretty good.  The protein shakes make a HUGE difference in my hunger levels... The only thing I'm struggling with lately is my water intake... Been so lazy about it and I can't get in enough water... Believe me I'm paying for it elsewhere ->  LOL... I need to get it together in that area... So bad! 
One last thing... Today I ate like a huge fat a$$... I haven't eaten like this since before the surgery... And, it wasn't even the amount of food, although I did overeat... I had chicken fingers with cheese fries... I feel so sick right now!  I am STUFFED beyond belief.  That's what I get for being greedy... BUT, I'll forgive myself...   I'll get back back up and keep it movin'. 
Today I'm going to my first Support Group meeting... So excited!

I'm back... Been meaning to blog for a while but haven't felt like doing much of anything... LOL... It's only been in the last 4-5 days that I've begun to feel like my "normal" self, again.
I had my surgery on 6/3/08! So, freakin' excited!!! I'm doing great now but it was rough for the first week or so... I don't know how the hell they tell people that they can drive & all this other sh*t (lol) cuz I sure couldn't!!
I had the gas situation REALLY bad, oh my!!! That was the worse... My day would start out ok & by mid-afternoon I would be so super-bloated; it felt like my belly was going to burst! HAHAHAHAHA... AND, whenever I went out in the car it felt like my belly was not attached to my body! At least, that's how it felt for me. Not trying to scare anyone contemplating surgery- I DON'T LIKE PAIN so don't necessarily go by me - LOL!
I'm doing MUCH better now. I still have some gas pain but it's subsiding... Everyday I feel more and more like my normal self. I haven't had any issues with food thus far (thank, God). I've been able to keep everything down and even tried a couple of things like mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, carrots. Of course, I've never chewed food so much in my life... LOL... But, I have a fear of throwing up so I'll do whatever it takes. I didn't like throwing up before this surgery, so I can't even imagine now.
It hasn't been all fun and games... I had a small breakdown in my 5th or 6th day post-op. I seriously couldn't believe I went through with it and was really scared about being able to continue and live in a whole new way. But, my mom came to my rescue in the middle of night and we talked it out. =) I LOVE MY MOM! LOL... I'm still scared BUT thinking very positive. This is about a new life and a new beginning. Everything worth having is gonna take hard work!!! My favorite quote says it all - "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone could do it. The hard is what makes it great!"
So, let's keep working hard towards what we're all seeking!!!! And, let's not be hard on ourselves if we fall off the wagon... What matters is getting back up and starting over... And, never ever quitting!

I heard from my surgeon's Insurance Specialist today and she told me I AM APPROVED!!! Hurray! Wow... this is real... it's really going to happen... I also went for my pre-admission tests today... I can't believe it's so close. It's almost unreal to me right now... WOW WOW WOW WOW!

June 3rd is the big day!!! Everything is pretty much done... The only thing left are Pre-Admissions tests... I can hardly believe the day is almost here.
I am trying to make some changes now BEFORE surgery but it's difficult... A couple of ppl have told me to go nuts and eat anything and everything but I don't want to do that either, so it's a catch 22... I want to enjoy some of my favorite foods before surgery but not going overboard or eating everything in sight... I don't know... Am I making sense?
In any case, the big day is near and I can hardly wait!!!!