Mind Matters - Fun With New Friends
By nikpoojoh
A year ago I was starting over in a new state. Everything and everyone was unfamiliar, and it was nearly overwhelming at times. I didn't have a local social network, and while I wanted friends, the prospect of actually making them takes some work! I found these things helped me when it was time for me to start meeting new people. I hope they will help you, too, when you are next in a new situation, because new friendships can be a great deal of fun!
1. Capitalize on Common Interests—Where did you meet, and what did you talk about? Did you discover you have life circumstances (marital status, kids, hometown…) in common? Did you meet at a music festival or a work conference? Did you discover that you both love baseball or books? Your mutual interests can be a great starting place. Invite a fellow quilter to a free quilting class. Offer a car-lover a trip to the new exhibit at the automobile museum.
2. Take the Pressure Off—Keep the situation low-key by making the invitation casual. One way to do this is to make plans for a public event and ask them along: “There is a series of free concerts at Smith Park this fall. I’m going to hear a great folk group in two weeks. It would be fun to see you there if you would like to come.”
3. Plan Ahead—Most people are very busy, and making an invitation in advance gives your new friend a better chance to arrange their schedule so they can accept your offer. Be respectful of their time by allowing several days’ notice before your proposed get-together.
4. Make One Plan at a Time—While you may have all sorts of ideas about how you and your new friend can enjoy each other’s company, making too many invitations in a short period of time may make you appear over-eager and may rob your friend of the chance to make his or her own invitation! It may help to wait a week or two between invitations.
5. Focus on Free Activities—Fun doesn’t have to cost money, and you can avoid awkward situations by sticking to free opportunities. Treating new friends to dinner or a movie may be no problem for you, but your generosity may make them feel uncomfortable or obligated. Not treating them may force them to spend money they don’t have. Until you know each other better, stick with low- or no-cost options.
Me Minutes
People with diverse hobbies and skills make for fun friends. Take time to invest in your own interests. Carve out a few minutes each day to do something you love: draw, tinker, read, run, cook, listen, bike—whatever you enjoy!
Not a member of ObesityHelp yet? Get access to all of ObesityHelp's great features by joining today!
