learning

Jul 14, 2011

Todays weight is 310.6.  33.9 pounds - 34 pounds in 5 weeks.   I may get below 300 pounds by the end of july - Im pretty sure I will get there but Im scared of being there too. I am still dealing with that internal saboteur - it's been declawed and teeth filed down, but it still has enough strength to harass and bite if I get too close.  Sometimes I look back at it but the walk away from the cage has been pretty steady.  I really appreciate what other VSG pros post about it being a daily committment to self/better health - that probably applys to all WLS'ers.  It is hard to walk away from the things that used to bring me comfort and temporary satisfaction, but now they feel like...a faded photograph, and taste like a...a drink that the ice has melted in.  The intensity and desires are far less, and some things dont taste as delicious and satiating as I remember.  A few havent changed though - chips are still the salty, crunchy, tasty items I remember, but the desire is definitely less. These changes make me more convinced theres  something to the ghrelin-removing aspect of the surgery.  No one could have convinced me before the surgery that I wouldn't want my comfort foods, or that I would ever let any of them go.

I feel weaker when I do the protein shakes and applesauce with protein (aka my lazy mixes) vs. real protein.  I can tolerate beef, poultry, fish, and I have more energy after I eat them, so Im gonna increase my real food and decrease my lazy way concoctions.  Too much fruit and applesauce also causes me to stall! Im eating so little that I thought this wouldnt matter, but it does. And its natural stuff! Watermelon, pineapple, sugar free applesauce - things higher in natural sugars i suppose.  Watermelon, strawberry, blueberry, and pineapple smoothies were my favorite! Ah well. I knew I had a low sugar tolerance before the surgery. I guess it cant magically change everything.

I havent added weights yet, and I think I may wait until the end of July to start.  Though the doctor lifted all restrictions after the first week, I dont want to screw anything up.  My body feels totally healed, but....  Plus it will probably be easier in August because my dear children will be in school, so after taking care of them I will have peace and quiet to take care of me without having to wake at the break of dawn! Though I dont think that will change too much - Im an early bird.

I want to be below 300 by the end of July - I dont care by how much so long as there's a 2 in the front instead of a 3 - 299.99!
I want to be at or below 294 (50 lbs lost!) by August 9th - my 2 month surgiversary. That would make me very happy.

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