skylark2011
4 years 10 months
Apr 11, 2016
Surgiversary was April 9th - it came and went! I didnt really think about it until today. It also would have been my wedding anniversary. Didn't think about that until today too. I am proud of both frankly, though I am no longer married - marriage was never the issue. I loved being married, and am pretty proud of my track record.
I was 198.4 on my surgiversary. Wearing shirts ranging from small to large, pants are firmly 12Longs, but depending on the manufacturer it could be anywhere from 10 - 14. I was hoping for 195, but must factor in that it was the beginning of my cycle, I was on vacation - and though I exercised, kept up with my vitamins, drank plenty of fluids and did well with my eating, I also slept a whoooole lot less than usual, and had more alcohol than normal. So I am watching how things pan out this week as I am coming off of my cycle and getting back into my routine.
Vacation was...perfect. Beautiful weather, lots of laughter and sun and nature - I rode rides with my children, had time to myself, just the perfect balance of everything. Bathing suits.....er mah gerd. I am still feeling awkward with attention, I just ignore it usually, a lot of the gawkers were with significant others, and my swimsuit is modest, seriously, I have too much going on to try to show too much. I just...I cant get used to it, and sometimes dont feel like I can breathe deeply until Im covered. Sigh. But I still made a vow to wear tank tops, regardless of if i have the skin removed this summer, and I did just that on our vacation.
I am having conversations with myself about this round of losing weight too. What if I only lost 1 pound a week? Would that be good? If I lost 1 pound a week, that means that I will be in my goal range by my surgiversary. I am grateful and relieved about that, and I have a peace about it, and that feels...free. There is no rush...I am tweaking things so that I can continue to do this for the rest of my life. and it feels so good. luxurious at times.
All in all I cant complain. Things have been really working out for the good. My goals are to get to and stay in the 180s until I have my skin removed.
